Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Day In The Life

Now's as good a time as any to post a blog I guess. Life's not great, but it's not over yet either so I guess I'm just waiting for what's next at this point.

The past few weeks haven't been great by any means. Alisha and I have gotten into a few fights about nothing really. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that my sleep schedule is all wacky and more often then not I'm cranky.

A normal day for me right now (if you could call it normal) is waking up at 8am with Alisha, trying to leave the house by no later then 8:35am to get her to work on time, dropping her off around 8:55am because she has to be there by 9am, going back home and trying to sleep (I say trying because for the past 3 days I haven't been able to fall back to sleep so I just lay there till it's time to go pick her up.) Leaving the house by no later then 5:35pm to pick Alisha up. Then from that point we do any number of things. Sometimes we get something to eat before we head back home, sometimes we have something we have to do like check on Alisha's Mom's dogs, meet with her friend, later this week we're gonna go shopping for her. It's different from day to day, but some times we just go back home and I try to fall asleep again, or watch TV with Alisha on the couch.

After whatever we do for the day, we have to leave the house by 9:35pm to get to the club by 9:50pm to catch our nightly meeting. On Saturday and Sunday we have to leave early because we host the meetings, but the weekend is always a little different so it's not as bad. (I get to sleep in until around 2pm on the weekends.)

The meeting gets out at 11pm, then I drop Alisha off and go to work, I normally get there anywhere between 11:30pm and 11:45pm, then I stay there anywhere between 4 to 6 hours, more often then not I leave by about 3:45 and am home and in bed with Alisha by 4:30am.. Then it starts over again.

As far as life goes, that's about what I do from day to day with a few little differences here and there. The weekends a little different. We pick up Mayla and stay at Alisha's mothers house till Monday morning.

I don't get a lot of sleep, and have to do a little bit of running around, but it's not that big of a deal. Combined with a few other things going on I'm not always in a great mood, but lately I've been able to just find happiness laying in bed with Alisha at the end of that day, and I think that's what get's me by.

Money's not great. I've been donating plasma downtown to get by from week to week without borrowing to much from other people. (We only had to barrow $20 this week to make it.)

Today while I was headed down to the plasma center I ran out of gas and had to walk the last four blocks, now I'm sitting in the waiting room hoping and praying they'll take me today, if not I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

Alisha get's paid today, and I get paid tomorrow, and I have 21 hours so far plus I have to go in tonight as well so that's a few more hours for us.

Shopping, gas, smokes, power bill, cable bill, a little money here, a little money there, save a few bucks to have dinner with Alisha on Sunday (V-Day) and by Wednesday we'll be broke again. Fun fun.

Another thing that's been popping in and out of my head for the past few days is the fact that Emily is pregnant again. (Emily is a long story, but long story short she was my last girlfriend and she had an abortion with my child because she didn't want to have another baby.)

Part of me wants to watch her new kid die of complications so that that part of my life will feel like it's balanced out, the other part wants to just be past it... I feel different about it from hour to hour.. Right now I hope the best for her.

I talked to my Mom, everything's alright in that department, she's not angry about all the money I owe her, she didn't even say anything about it. She's coming up on Tuesday so I'll get to have dinner with her or something, I hope.

Other then that I can't really think of anything else to say at the moment. I kinda wanna go outside and smoke real fast, so I think I'll do that.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Turn Of Events

I haven't posted anything in a while for a few reasons. The most
important being that I started this thing so I could track my progress
to happiness and these past few weeks have been anything but happy. The
second reason is because I don't anybody reads these posts anyway so
it's not really that big of a deal.

I don't think it's really that important to have a lot of people read
your blog, but I think the reason I started one was to post stuff and
get feedback on it, which may be the wrong reason to have one... Or the
only reason to have one... I'm not sure.

Oh well, once I turn my focus back to being happy I'll start posting more.